Thankful Thursday

This will be me running out of work on Friday.

My trip

I leave on Saturday. I'm kinda freaking out. But so excited. A whole month off work and any other responsibility. It's been years since I had that kind of freedom.

Contentment

Our Eurovision party got on TV via Twitter!

In the last few years I've had a lot of trouble looking at friends who were getting married or buying houses and being jealous of their security, or somehow feeling like I was falling behind, even if I didn't necessarily want any of those things for myself at the moment. This year I have definitely changed my tune - I'm happy with the pace my life is at, and I have security in other things. I'm loving how unpredictable and fun my life is at the moment. So many memories to savour being created recently.

Personal development (do I sound like a public servant or what?) + possibility

I went to the doctor last Friday to get a repeat of my antidepressant medication and they tried to bully me into going on SSRIs (a different kind of anti-depressant) even though what I'm on at the moment (Valdoxan) is working really well for me. Who knows their motivations for trying to change a treatment that is working and side effect free, but the point is that last year a doctor's visit like that would've put me in such a state that I wouldn't have been able to go back to work for the rest of the day (I basically wouldn't have been able to stop crying). This year, well, I did go into the car park and cry for about fifteen minutes out of frustration for the fact that I'd just paid $80 to be belittled, but then I just let it slide off me and I went back to work. I'm so much more resilient. I feel like there are so many possibilities for my future, and not in an overwhelming way.

This whole experience of having endometriosis, depression and anxiety has definitely changed me for the better, and even though I wouldn't have chosen this path, I'm thankful that I've been able to change a negative to a positive and end up better off than before.

I feel like I'm heading into extra corny territory now, but I heard Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield for the first time in awhile yesterday and I think it pretty much captures my attitude to life at the moment.

I honestly just can't believe how consistently good I have felt for the last couple of months. There is a light of the end of the tunnel with depression after all...