Haven't had the best day ever, had a very frustrating time trying to change my car registration and license over to the ACT (there is a reason I have put it off for a year and nine months!) and I think because of that stress and fatigue I've ended up with the worst pain I've had in awhile. It's definitely still nowhere near as bad as it used to be before my operation, but it's a different kind of pain. A kind of pressing, slightly tugging, constant pain, that I've had to learn to deal with over the last six months because it's a different kind of pain from what I'm used to.
I used to have about 2.5 weeks in a month where I would be mostly fine (0-1 pain scale), and about 1 week where I was in quite a lot of pain but could function (with a lot of effort, drugs and heat packs, 6 -8 pain scale) and about half a week when the pain was excruciating, I could hardly move and I'd get contraction-like pain (this is when I would have time off work, 9-10 pain scale). Now it's more like 4 weeks with constant everyday pain ranging from 2-5, along with frequently having to visit the loo since my bladder hurts when it's even slightly full. Tonight's a 5. I think that in the long run having everyday low-level pain (although hopefully that might resolve itself too) is something that is more conducive to me living a normal life than the crazy labour-type pains I was getting every month that I had no control over. (It helps that I'm pretty much not getting my period anymore because of the Mirena).
I've also pretty much stopped taking all painkillers at the moment - partly so I don't push myself too hard and overdo it (since pain is there for a reason, right?), but also because I don't like the way I feel on them, even if they take away the pain (which they don't always) and I'd rather not have to rely on them and instead be able to cope with my pain using my brain.
Above: a couple of pain scales that I think help to convey what different levels of pain are like.
PS You might see that this blog is changing a bit. I still want to do my outfit posts since that is what makes me happy but after going to an endometriosis research group on Friday and hearing and remembering yet again about how there is still so much shame surrounding this disease, I've decided to start writing more regularly about what it's like to have endometriosis. I also think that sometimes I tend to downplay my pain a bit because I don't want to make a fuss. As a woman, I have been told my whole life that period pain is 'normal' and it's something you just have to deal with, so it's a bit of a reminder to myself as well to take myself seriously. I think it might help my friends and family to understand more what it's like as well.
Here's a link that I think describes the pain well. I read it and found myself nodding in agreement with every sentence. "You can't be ill. You look fine."
