Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Thankful Thursday

This will be me running out of work on Friday.
My trip

I leave on Saturday. I'm kinda freaking out. But so excited. A whole month off work and any other responsibility. It's been years since I had that kind of freedom.


Our Eurovision party got on TV via Twitter!
In the last few years I've had a lot of trouble looking at friends who were getting married or buying houses and being jealous of their security, or somehow feeling like I was falling behind, even if I didn't necessarily want any of those things for myself at the moment. This year I have definitely changed my tune - I'm happy with the pace my life is at, and I have security in other things. I'm loving how unpredictable and fun my life is at the moment. So many memories to savour being created recently.

Personal development (do I sound like a public servant or what?) + possibility

I went to the doctor last Friday to get a repeat of my antidepressant medication and they tried to bully me into going on SSRIs (a different kind of anti-depressant) even though what I'm on at the moment (Valdoxan) is working really well for me. Who knows their motivations for trying to change a treatment that is working and side effect free, but the point is that last year a doctor's visit like that would've put me in such a state that I wouldn't have been able to go back to work for the rest of the day (I basically wouldn't have been able to stop crying). This year, well, I did go into the car park and cry for about fifteen minutes out of frustration for the fact that I'd just paid $80 to be belittled, but then I just let it slide off me and I went back to work. I'm so much more resilient. I feel like there are so many possibilities for my future, and not in an overwhelming way.

This whole experience of having endometriosis, depression and anxiety has definitely changed me for the better, and even though I wouldn't have chosen this path, I'm thankful that I've been able to change a negative to a positive and end up better off than before.

I feel like I'm heading into extra corny territory now, but I heard Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield for the first time in awhile yesterday and I think it pretty much captures my attitude to life at the moment.

I honestly just can't believe how consistently good I have felt for the last couple of months. There is a light of the end of the tunnel with depression after all...

The Secret Life of Samara


  1. THESE POSTS MAKE ME SO HAPPY. Seriously, I am so, so, so , so happy that you're happy...and that you've got a big holiday to look forward to :) I didn't reply to your post on GF travelling the other day cos I was thinking about what I normally do...and then I realised that while I am away on holidays my gluten intolerance decreases so I can eat a whole lot more (prob cos I'm not stressed so my body is functioning as it should). If all else fails I just hit up the salad menu and go without breakfast/eat fruit or eggs :P

    1. I love your reaction every week. Please keep them coming :). I almost didn't do TT this week because it was late and I was tired (now it's the same again!) but I thought, no, I must do it for Samara! (And also for the sake of my long term happiness by having healthy habits :p) Also I really just want to bottle this feeling. This is as close to bottling it as I'm gonna get!


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